O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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