If that was your dad, he is hot
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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