We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
