You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
