the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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