I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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