oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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