This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
