After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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