So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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