Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
