oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize