btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
