her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
