Sponge bath it is.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
