She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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