I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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