This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
