she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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