Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
