one might say we're banned from that church
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
