she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
