So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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