dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
