"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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