is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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