He is an equal opportunity slut.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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