my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize