I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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