playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize