...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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