Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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