I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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