i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
