Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
