I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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