My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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