wanna go halves on a baby?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
