My friends, they love my intelligence
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
