The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
