Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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