You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
