I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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