A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Two words: blizzard sex
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
