problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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