I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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