you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
