:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
