he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize