so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
