i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
