yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
