I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Randomize
