if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
