There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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