The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize