you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
