At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
