Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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